Sunday, March 8, 2015

The Struggle of Changing Your Mind

In November of 2014 I had hit a low in my life that called me to make some major changes in my life. I knew that I needed to make some big changes to get out of this rut that I felt I was stuck in. The wheel of life was spinning each day with routine but I wasn't going anywhere. The scenery was not changing around me and I felt myself sinking further and further down into a never ending cycle. I had to change. I had to get out of this rut before I sank too deep to get out. I recruited help. I contacted for of the bishopric wives who is a health coach to help me feel better about myself physically.

At this point in my life I want you to know that I know I am a daughter of God and that he loves me. I also know that I have family who loves me. I have friends who wee there for me to support me and love me. But because I did not love myself it was hard to always believe that what others wee telling me was true. I couldn't believe that other people could love seen since I did not love myself and most of that came from a physical appearance which also is connected to an emotional mentality. I truly believed that I was a rejected daughter of God. I haven't dated anyone in 8 years and while I have had several guy friends I was not dating any of them and I believed it was because of my weight that caused my lack of dating opportunities. Now. While I wanted to lose weight because I thought it would make me more attractive to men. I didn't want to do this in an unhealthy way. There were other things in my life that I needed to find happiness and fulfillment in as well. 

Sister Wood introduced me to a program called Take Shape For Life. It teaches you principles to take care of your body not just with the food you eat but the mentality of how you eat, why you eat, giving yourself plenty of rest, water etc. I felt that this program was going to be challenging but worth the effort. What has surprised me the most is how easy it has actually been for me and I know that is because the Lord has been helping me along and given me the strength to stick to the program. I have stuck to this habit of healthy eating and taking care of myself for 4 months now. I have lost over 4lbs in what seems like such a short amount of time. I feel great! I have so much more energy and confidence than I have had in a long time. I am wearing sizes that I never thought I would be buying again. People are telling all the time how good I am looking and I know they are right because I believe it. I have now learned to love myself which allows me to believe that others love me as well. I think that is key. If you don't love yourself you will never believe what others say about you. 

But now there is a new trial that I am dealing with that no one tells you about when you lose weight. How do you change your mindset of seeing the "fat" girl in the mirror that you have seen for so long and see the beautiful healthy person you are now? I've been the fat girl for so long that my mind still sees itself sometimes as that person still. Even as I look in the mirror and see how much better I look and skinnier I am my mind doesn't know how to register it I find myself sinking back into that mentality of seeing myself as someone who is fat. 

How do you train your mind to think differently. Being healthy and losing weight is not just measured by numbers on a scale. It is actually changing the way your mind thinks about your image as well. You have to learn how to look at yourself in the mirror and see the changes you have been making and really feel it in your heart as well. The connection of what your head thinks and your feels need to align with each other if you are really going to believe in the changes you have been making both physically and mentally to really understand the emotional change you have been taking. 

While I am still struggling with making this mental change in the way I think about my appearance to connect with what I know is true about how I really look; I will continue to seek the guidance of the spirit to help me . One thing I will say through all of this is that I no longer believe that I am a rejected daughter of God. I truly believe that he loves me because I have learned to love myself. I believe people now when they tell me that am of worth because I have accepted this of myself as well. So maybe this is the answer. Know your worth. Embrace your worth. Feel your worth and know that you are loved. 

Friday, March 6, 2015

Disney World: Mardi Gras, Chinese New Year, Presidents Day and Carnival Style

I have great friends and some that, like me, love a good themed party. Jennifer took me to a whole new level of themed parties by introducing me to themed vacations! She took me to Disney World in Orlando, FL to celebrate Mardi Gras, Carnival (Mardi Gras in Europe) and Chinese New Year with Mickey and his friends. I have to admit I was pretty excited to get out of the freezing cold weather that was surrounding us in Virginia.

Themed vacations was a hit. We stayed at the Port Orleans French Quarter hotel that was fabulous decorated for Mardi Gras.


The first thing we did when we got there was order biegnets (squared powder donuts), YUM!!!! It was a little bit of a shock to my system since I haven't had that much sugar, fried food and bread in a long time. (more on that in another post)

We then headed to Downtown Disney for some Cajun food for lunch. Jenn is big for themed food and I wasn't going to object. House of Blues apparently gets pretty booked at night so we went for a late lunch. The atmosphere was very New Orleans and the salmon salad I ate was delicious. I can't ever get my salmon to taste that good.
 And no trip to Florida is complete without some time at the pool. I needed to thaw out from the freezing VA weather we had been having. I think I may have been singing Olaf's song about summer at one time or another.
 Dinner that night was at the Boatwrights Dining Hall at the resort. I had some amazing shrimp and grits for dinner. I have never had grits before but it seemed like an appropriate southern style food to eat. Man was it good and I had been craving some good shrimp for a while. it was very satisfying indeed. Dinner was made even better by the presence of my old friend Sara Smith Bolling who drove up to meet us. It was great catching up with her.

So this mask was at the gift shop and it is hand made in Italy and then shipped to Florida to be decorated. it was so beautiful but definitely more money than I will ever be able to afford. Did you notice my clothes are coordinated colors for mardi gras?
The rest of the week was spent exploring Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom. Such a fun time. I ate a lot of food but hey, we were walking 10 + miles a day so I didn't feel bad about one bite. I love being in Disney World. It makes me feel like a kid again and it really is a place where dreams can come true.

Presidents Day march
American food at the Liberty Tavern for lunch. Another great salmon salad and I even had a gooey toffee desert which was divine!

Aurora is from France and they love to celebrate Carnival there.
Tiana and Prince Naveen are from New Orleans and they love a good Mardi Gras celebration. When Naveen asked us where he should take Tiana on a date to in VA we told him to go to Alexandria for food. When he asked what they should order Jenn suggested frog legs. He didn't like that idea very much.

In France at Epcot they started getting ready for the Flower and Garden Festival with all the topiaries. Belle is from France and they like to celebrate Carnival too. So pretty.
So of course we had to meet Belle and ask her what we should eat.

Some kind of chocolate cake covered in a ganache and shaved pieces of white chocolate. Oh my taste buds were in love.
Macaroon with raspberries and lemon pudding.
 It was so good. I may have had two. YUM!

A real Ceasar Salad in Italy and an amazing 4 cheese pizza.
Another desert from France. Chocolate Cake with raspberry pudding and fresh raspberries and sauce on top. A great way to start the day.

Chinese New Year should be celebrated in China. Hurray for the year of the Ram! or is it a goat? Or maybe a sheep? No one can really decide in the US what it is. Oh well, Good wishes to all.
I'm not shy, just using the art of the fan.

Mulan celebrated Chinese New Year with us.

Lunch at the Yak and Yeti restaurant was a great treat. I think I've eaten all I can for Chinese New Year.