Switching Roles

Last Saturday, my singles ward held a date auction. Let me explain how this was organized. You as the date requestor would submit a date idea to the social committee with a description of what the date would entail. Girls would bid on dates that the guys would submit and vice versa. The person who submits the date would play the role of the initiator. They would be in charge of organizing, paying and the activity for the date. When it comes to bidding on the date, the only thing that the bidder knows is what the date is, they don't know who it is with.

Since going out with someone who you don't know if you will be able to carry a conversation with or not it is somewhat hard to know what date idea to submit. You don't know if you will be able to carry a conversation with them, if you will have things to talk about, what the chemistry will be. Keeping all of these things in mind I decided to submit a date to go to a Wizards basketball game. I figured that either way you would be able to have a good date even if you don't have anything to talk about because you can always just be entertained by the game, elevataing the pressure of having to entertain each other.

I was unable to go to the date auction due to an annoying migraine that wiped me out. But from what I had been told by those who went, a basketball game was a pretty good idea as several guys bid on it. Wish I could have known who all bid on it. You know, just in case I want to connect with them. I was somewhat worried that whoever won might be disappointed when they found out who they were going with. Unfortunately, I wasn't there to see their reaction.

I didn't really know how this date was going to go. The winner was someone I knew but not who I had ever really had a sit down conversation with before just the two of us. I mean we had talked, but could we carry a conversation? Good thing we were going to a basketball game because I knew we could at least talk about that.

Since I was the dating organizaer I played the role of the man by going and picking him up, opening the car door, etc. It was really weird, because while I have always been a strong, independent woman, I do like to be treated like a girl sometimes and know that a guy would do nice gesters for me. Girls kind of tend to expect that on a date but this time I couldn't expect that since I was the one initiating the date. Don't get me wrong, he would have done those things but we both kind of had this understanding that I was the one in charge of the date.

Well the game was fun. We were able to talk about the game and other things as well. I bought us dinner and we had a good time. The Wizards won the game which was fun. He was rooting for the 76ers so a lose for them. They played a bad defensive game but the Wizards, who generally lose all the time looked really good.

Skipping to the end of the date (I really have a hard time calling it that), I drove him home and didn't know if I was supposed to walk him to the door or not. I kind of halfway parked and out loud said, I'm not sure what to do? Am I supposed to walk you to the door? Eventually it was decided yes. So I parked the car and walked him his door. Talk about an awkward moment. I'm having to put myself in the place of the guys typical role. I think even he was a little unsure of being in the what would typically be the girls role. But we made it through and I guess everyone should put themselves in the role of another person at some point.

Now that I have done the switched date I have to say it's not one of my favorite things and I think I will keep my place as a girl when going out. I like having doors opend for me, not having to worry about organizaing the logistics, being picked up and dropped off at the door. I definitely have more respect for the guys and the pressure they have of dates but I am stay with the social norm of maintaining my role of being treated like a girl.